05 Jan

19 years

Oh good lord. I looked at the date today on my phone and realised that I started at the Evil Empire 19 years ago today.

NINETEEN YEARS!

Boy doesn’t that make me sound like a sad old Larry No-Career! Which may be the case, but I swear I’ve done many different things over the time, it just happens they were all in this one company. And department. Ahem. Even the 11 straight years supporting the-system-that-just-won’t-die are excused because six and a half of those were in London and I dismiss that time with an airy wave and the comment that “it suited me to stay in London so my career wasn’t my main focus.” Has my career ever been my main focus? Ahem-hem… oh look, what’s that over there?

Far more interesting though is how much closer I am to the big 2-0. See, at fifteen years I got 3 month’s long service leave (which I still haven’t taken) and then because I [am so ancient] started so long ago, when I get to 20 years I get another 3 months. I thought the time would be delayed a few years because I’m now part time, but it turns out it still happens around the 20 year mark, the amount is just pro-rataed. (The only thing that has affected it was the 3 month’s unpaid leave I took at the end of 2001 before moving permanently to London, which shifted the date three months. I thought my maternity leave would do the same but not according to SAP, and you don’t argue with SAP.)

… So this means that as of 24th April 2013, I’ll have a total of 994 hours of paid leave up my sleeve. At my current rate of 0.6, or 3 days a week, that’s almost 41 and a half weeks of leave. If I can wrangle it as 0.5 instead (there’s an option to have it paid at half-pay, but that could mean 0.3 for me) then it’s almost 50 weeks. As of now I am 68 weeks away from at least nine and a half months of paid leave. Hmm, I guess I won’t be looking for a role outside the organisation for a while yet!

I have no idea if I’ll take the time straight away, or what I’ll do with it. Maybe I’ll just hang on to it just in case. Mind you, that’s why I haven’t taken the 15-year leave yet either. There’s a chance Dave will be offered a role overseas in a year or so, maybe in Singapore, or perhaps we’ll go back to London for a while. It would come in really useful for then. Or maybe I’ll just take a year off at a random point and use the time to potter around at home.

Either way, I’ve got long enough to weigh up my options. One thing I do know is I’m not going to save it up to go with the 25-year entitlement! That would be just too sad.

Oh, and how do I know the date so accurately? Well, there’s an option within our SAP system to see your leave entitlements as at a particular date, so I spent a an hour or so this afternoon putting in different dates to see when exactly it ticked over. Yep, my 19th anniversary of starting was a very productive day. They are lucky to have me, indeed.

03 Jan

Bad pav will not stop me this year

So it’s another new year. 2012! The year of the London Olympics and possibly the end of the world. So far it’s been pretty good. We painted our laundry (I’m aware I still need to tell you about the bedroom reno!) and moved the freezer under the bench (which necessitated cutting a bit out of the supporting lip so it would fit) and it looks great, much brighter and less claustrophobic with the freezer moved. We still need to put up shelves but it’s looking really good.

Yesterday I caught up with my good friend Tam, who’s down from Brisbane for a couple of weeks. I haven’t actually seen her since we got married, almost three years ago, so it was nice to have lunch with her and chat, and for her to meet Bianca, who was mostly pretty well behaved. And then we came home and played under the airconditioning vent because it was bloody hot yesterday, 40*C, then I ate some bad leftover pavlova and well, have been pretty sick ever since. But I’m not focussing on that! Positivity is the aim this year!

New Year’s Eve was fairly low key but fun. We went to our friends Cathy and Cam’s house for dinner and then played board games once the kids were in bed. They have three- and five-year-old girls who are IN LOVE with Bianca (and vice versa) so there was much playing and fun. We reminisced about past new year’s eves and Dave and I realised this was our eighth together as a couple, and we can remember each one. That also seems surreal.

So, a new year, a(nother) new beginning. I have been thinking about things and I’m not going to do specific resolutions again this year, because I always end up with too many to fit all the areas I want to change, and I end up achieving none of them. Instead I have three goals, which I think should be quite doable:

  1. Reach out and reconnect with friends. I always feel enriched when I do, but my natural state is to curl up in a ball and hide away. This also includes spending more quality, non-kid time with Dave.
  2. Declutter and streamline – both at home and in my life.
  3. Concentrate on doing things I enjoy and make time for them, whether it’s writing, cooking, going for a walk, even putting a facemask on – anything. I’ve slipped into the habit of putting this stuff last, which means it generally doesn’t happen.

My overall goal for the year is to finally kick this depression and become me again. I think I’ve always been mildly depressed, but it’s worse now and where in the past I’d just eat icecream and cry for a bit now it’s affecting other people. I don’t want Bianca to have to live with this. I don’t want to live with this! I’m sick of feeling so maudlin and pathetic; this isn’t me.  I’ve had enough and it has to stop, and my goals are all about bringing me back.

And also to stop eating dodgy leftover pav.